Writing 5

Writing was one of the most easiest subject. Fiction writing was my best writing piece because it was easy thinking up of something to write about because it was fiction so we can write about anything we like. I think I did well on describing the setting. My fiction story is a realistic fiction. I chose this piece because I wrote a lot in it and I liked the idea of the scary parts. Please read it and tell me how I can improve by commenting.

Here is my fiction story.

Everything changes here…
Victor is like most other boys you would see in your school. Victor has two friends Michael and Rex. Michael likes to play basketball and he is very accurate at shooting things. Victor and his friends are 13. Michael was the tallest and he seems so tall that he was taller than any parent already. Michael had lean black hair that fell to his neck. Victor had golden yellow hair that went down to his neck too. Rex had curly black hair.
Rex likes to fish whenever his dad takes him fishing he would always have at least catch a trout.
Victor lives in 22 Oak Street.
Victor was watching the basketball match that Michael had after school. Michael was so fast he dribbled the ball left then right the defenders tried to catch up, but Michael was already at 3 pointer but he dribbled up and he leaped and stretched his arms, stretched up and he made a dunk. At the end they won as usual.
Victor’s dad came home and announced that they were going on a camping trip.
But Victor had other ideas for his holiday so Victor told his dad ,’‘Dad I don’t want to go camping because I was planing on going to help Rex make his new fishing rod and we were going to fish once we are done.’’
‘‘Victor, you can bring your two friends along, what about that’’? asked Victor’s dad with a smile.
Victor thought for a second and said,‘‘Only if they can come’’ and he burst out the door going to Rex’s house first.

‘‘What about the fishing rod we were going to make?’’ asked Rex.
Victor and Rex were in Rex’s basement, looking at the unfinished fishing rod lying on a coffee brown, wooden table. Rex’s basement wasn’t the basement you would want to be in because it was not used for years, so, it was dusty and there would be spider webs in all corners and Victor felt uncomfortable there. ‘‘Don’t worry Rex we can finish the fishing rod after we come back,’’ said Victor.
‘‘If we come back,’’ Rex grumbled.
‘‘ Oh come on what could happen, uh do you think a bear would come charging at us and chase us around?’’ Victor said losing patience.
‘‘Fine i’ll go if my parents let.’’ Rex sighed and with that he went back making the fishing rod. And Victor ran out of the house and he ran to Michael’s house.
On his way,as he ran down the street he saw a very very odd man. The man’s face was hidden in his brown leather jacket and his dark black hat, but his eyes seems to glow violet red. The man looked at Victor as if he was about to kidnapped him, but Victor went on running and tried to ignore him, but suddenly the man started walking the way Victor was running. But then the man charged at Victor. Victor saw that man coming and dodge to the left and started running as fast as he could to Michael’s house.

Victor was panting with sweat and he could no longer run.
Victor glanced back and saw that the man was a few yards away, Victor knew he was close to Michael’s house. He started to jog to as fast as he could and Victor reached Michael’s doorknob and prayed that it was open or else this was the end for him. Victor twisted the doorknob and he charged in, but, before he could shut the door he turned back and saw the man’s black glove reaching out for him and his vision turned black.
‘‘V..Vic..ccc.c.to..rr! Vic..cc.tor! Victor!’’
Victor’s eye opened half way and saw Michael. Victor sat up straight and saw he was in Michael’s room,
‘‘What happened to that man in the black leather jacket?’’ Victor asked. Michael looked at Victor as if Victor was crazy and said ‘‘I got a phone call from Rex and he asked me if I could go camping with you’’.
‘‘Can you?’’ asked Victor anxiously
‘‘Well you see I need to practice for the basketball game next week so yeah…’’
‘‘Oh common,” Victor cried “camping is only for 5 days and then when we come back you can practice”
‘‘Fine fine’’ Michael sighed unhappily. ‘‘Only if my parents allow.’’
‘‘Finally!’’ cried Victor.
As he sat in his dad’s black BMW with his friends. His mom and dad where sitting the front. Dad’s yellow hair was blocking the view of the front window and his mom’s brown hat was covering her long black hair and also the view of the front window.
Victor and his friends sat at the back.
There were trees on both sides of the wide rocky road.
So Victor peered from the back window .
‘‘Something seems very wrong.’’
“Yeah that truck seems to be following.” Agreed Rex nodding approvingly. Suddenly the truck turned to the left.
“Well looks like that solved the problem,” Michael said spinning his NBA basketball on his pinkie finger.
“Dad how long will it take?” Victor asked. But there was no reply.
Victor peered back to the front again.
His mom and dad were gone.
There was the truck parked in front of the car and the car kept on going without a driver.
“THIS IS THE END FOR US!” Michael shrieked with horror. Victor thought for a second and opened the doors of the car.
“This is crazy but, it is better than going down with the car.” Victor said.
And with this he pushed his friends out and he jumped out too.
They landed on soft grass which was very fortunate or they could have died either way.Victor and Rex landed on the left side of the road and Michael landed to the right side. All of them uttered with pain but slowly they started to stand up. Suddenly there was a huge KA-BOOM! noise, sending everyone back 9 yards or so.
Metal leftovers from the crash burned on the road.
Victor was in deep pain it seemed like he twisted left ankle and he sobbed.
All of their clothes were ripped and burned from jumping out of a car going 120 kilometers per hour and flying back 9 yards which was not fun.
Suddenly Victor heard footsteps to the left and he turned to that direction and there stood the man in black reaching out to him. THUMP!
Victor and Rex saw a basket ball rolling on the floor but the man in black turned to Michael’s direction and picked the basketball and threw it back to him.
Michael dodged it and jogged into the forest glance back and nodded which Victor understood meant “run!.”
Victor stood up and so did Rex and Rex carried Victor because Victor had no more energy left and they ran into the forest as well.
The man in black was holding back too long and he charged for Rex and Victor but Rex took a rock and threw it at the man’s leg. The force was so strong it sent the man back doing a summer salt in the air and landed hard on his back. The man struggled on to his feet quickly before they can run but they were already gone.
Michael ran quickly and threw his ball to his left hoping the man thought he would go left. Michael tried to concentrate on running straight but he kept glance back afraid the man caught up. SMACK!
Michael fell straight down on his back. “Michael?”Michael sat up immediately and saw Victor and Rex.
“We’re doomed” cried Victor smacking the floor. “The man will follow us to the end until he kills us.”
“Well it sure seems like a good day to die.” said Rex cheerfully.
“Uhh..hh..hh um..mmm..m Vic..to..r bee…hind you.” said both Michael and Rex in terror.
Victor glanced back and saw the Man in black reaching out for him…

Victor woke up with a short scream he realized that he had a nightmare.
The morning sun beamed into his eyes and birds chirped and flew by. The door rang that sent Victor with joy because Rex was coming to his house today. Victor peered out of his window and saw The man in black ringing the bell…

“Mom don’t open the door!” Victor managed to choke out. But he heard the door creaked open. This is the end. He heard his mom talking to the man in black. “Sir what business do you have here?” and that’s all he heard and then he heard a loud scream then it was silent. Victor thought quickly and he closed his bedroom door and locked it, opened his window, and climbed out then he sobbed and he jumped. Victor felt air rushing past him, his tears rolled into the air as a branch smacked him and everything turned black.